Xau Xian-Xu

Xau Xian-Xu
(Octopus, C)
ID# 651

Illustrated by Foxenawolf
No. 10 – Retired
Position	Center
Species	Octopus ( Octopodidae )
Gender	Male
Nickname(s)
Triple-X
Tentacles
Personal information
Born	Nam Pin Wai, Hong Kong
Nationality	Hong Konger
Listed height	7 ft 1 in (2.16 m)
Listed weight	260 lb (118 kg)
Shoots	Right
Career information
FBA draft	2009 / Round: 1 / Pick: 19th overall
Selected by the Montana Howlers
Pro playing career	2009–2015
Career history
2009-2011	Montana Howlers
2011-2012	Dakota Bikers
2013-2015	Baltimore Spirits
Career highlights and awards
FBA Rookie All-Star (2010)
Contract information
Contract year	2011
Player Contacts
(IC) Agent	JTigerclaw
(OOC) Creator	Unknown
(OOC) Actor	Unknown
(OOC) Usage	Ask me before any use

2009 FBA Draft Report

Triple-X is without a doubt the oddest, most unique and inconceivable treasure in this year's draft. A far Eastern import, he (we'll go ahead and say "he") is the only completely androgynous player on known record. Whereas herms have both sets of sexual organs, team doctors confirm that Xau Xian-Xu (pronounced Jyow Jyan Zoo) has none at all. While that's interesting and all, his gender (or lack thereof) doesn't affect the game nearly as much as the 4 lengthy tentacles that protrude from his upper torso.

XXX has 4 rubbery appendages on his upper half and 4 on his lower half (essentially 4 'arms' and 4 'legs' so to speak). At this point in time, the FBA doesn't have any rules against players using whatever extra apendages God gave them to aid their game as long as it doesn't harm or unreasonably disrupt the opposing player (no claws, beaks, or whisker-poking) and is not so unfair that it is indefensible (birds can't just take the ball and fly up over the hoop and drop it in). So far, nothing has been said regarding the use of XXX's extra limbs in the FBA or in his native Hong Kong, but it is uncertain whether something will have to be done about it in the future.

With these two extra 'arms' and their sticky suction cups, XXX has been able to average 6 (that's right, SIX) blocks a game and 4 steals a game! He holds all kinds of Asian (and would-be FBA and FCAA) defensive records, including single game records of 22 blocks and 18 steals (on separate occasions). It just makes sense that with 4 arms, there are at least two more obstacles to pass the ball around (throwing in an inbounds pass with XXX in the way? Not easy). That and his tentacles slither and squirm everywhere and are very good at poking balls (*AHEM* ... Basketballs...), swatting shots out of the air, and gathering loose balls off the floor. They are truly XXX's biggest asset, and they allow him to do things no other player can do. Of course the suction cups make it really impossible to get a good rotation on any shot, so that explains the horrible shooting percentages, though he is usually good for a dunk or two throughout the game. Lay ups are iffy, as he has to jerk his 'hand' away to get the suction cup off of the ball, and usually that redirects it and ruins any chance for a gimme unless it's a dunk.

So why is it, if XXX is a remarkable and record-setting defensive master, that he is not ranked higher on our draft predictions? Well, for one, he's a relative unknown, recently bursting onto the FBA radar a couple of months ago when a scout heard about some "Chinese Octopus" in the Far East and had to go see for himself. The second reason is his rubbery limbs and no real bones to speak of, which make him a bit more fragile than other players. Finally, but very importantly, some FBA scouts and journalists believe that XXX's extra limbs will be deemed unfair in the FBA and that he would end up an underachieving "2 armed" player. But hey, if tails and tongues and sticky fingers are allowed (Reigning Defensive Player of the Year, Doral uses all 3) then why not tentacles and suction cups? All I'm saying is that although some FBA minds don't want to take the chance, XXX has the potential to be quite the draft day steal if selected by the right team, and is more than likely to be a defensive virtuoso no matter how many tentacles he's allowed to use.