Story:Feelings of Isolation in an Oasis
Feelings of Isolation in an Oasis
Written by Bryan Shadowbuck & BladesDaRaccoon
6am… The usual time that Kris was at Sofawolf Stadium on a non matchday to train…
This was his usual routine. Get his reps and training in before heading off and trying to channel his experiences into an artistic mood.
It seemed like it had been the only thing he’d been doing since being drafted by the Bikers…
Drafted Pick No. 42 in the 2024 FBA Draft, Kris had very much been a late pick for the Bikers but he was still happy to get selected by the team in the draft and looked forward to playing against his best friend in Cherry Baxter in the FBA.
However, that was a feeling that was quickly fleeting for the Softshell Turtle as Kris barely got much court time. In fact, he had yet to even play 10 games in the FBA, let alone against Cherry and it was close to the end of his Rookie Contract.
Kris did feel for a bit that he should have perhaps spoken up a little bit about getting more floor time but noticing that the team was flying high, He didn’t think it was the right thing to do. He didn’t want to get in the way of his teammates and their success and just let the team do its thing.
Perhaps it would endear him as a team player and he’d be able to find his position that way. Time would tell that it was the wrong move and Kris was pretty much stuck in deep reserves and spending most of his time just training, waiting for those opportunities to do anything.
While they would come, It would always be a game here before a long stint back to training before he’d get called up because no-one else could fill a role before going back to Dakota again to train while the actual stars applied their craft.
It was a cycle that was grinding Kris down… He was a kind man and a patient man but even he had his limits and it felt like he was starting to hit them.
Safe to say that due to his lowly status at the team combined with his shyness, Kris struggled to make much of a connection with anyone on the team with conversation usually being quite brief and most players perhaps seeing him as just someone who was there to just fill in when needed… At least that’s what Kris thought as he didn’t exactly have anyone take him under their wing as a rookie and didn’t really get a good introduction to everyone else who was there.
Maybe the only player he had somewhat of a bond with were Sarah Gruda who also had a love of art and had been stuck in a similar situation to his.
Most of the conversation with the rest of the team had been brief but good when it came to names like Lorenz Valerio and Luka Stevaničić to very basic on the court and working as a team in terms of most of the players to quite bad when it came to Elijah Wolfgang who had told Kris to “Lighten the fuck up” on social media when he tried to earnestly have a conversation about how he got himself mentally ready to play after a whole back and forth about Trash Talking had happened on Social Media the previous night.
Safe to say that he felt like an outsider on his own team and that was a feeling that probably wasn’t going away any time soon.
“Is this all that’s left for me in Basketball?” Kris thought as he continued to practice dropping buckets from the 3 point range.
“Has the best already happened for me? Were my days with Cherry at KDU my glory days? Did I wait too long to try and endear myself to Dakota? Am I just a blur in the background to my teammates? Am I someone who’ll be forgotten when the rest of his teammates celebrate the good ol’ days down the track?”
These were thoughts that were running through Kris’s head while he kept trying to keep himself game-fit and ready to be called up if the team needed him but they weren’t exactly confident thoughts…
“Have I even made an impact here to the point that anyone would miss me if I left?”
“God, It’s been almost two years since I was drafted and I still feel like my only friend in this league is Cherry! I wish I’d tried to put more effort into getting myself further up the food chain when I had a chance. Maybe then I would have been worth a damn and built something here…”
At that point, Kris seemed to just freeze up as the thoughts became too much…
“Maybe I would have actually saved my career because I know I’m not going to be high in demand come Free Agency. Hell, Will Dakota even care to give me another deal? They seem to only see me as an expendable piece since the beginning anyway…”
At that point, Kris put the basketballs back into the rack and moved them back into storage. He just wasn’t in the right place of mind to be training at this point.
Not long after, Kris would leave Dakota’s facilities and head straight back to his apartment. As soon as he got back, there was not one word as Kris went to his bed and just stared at the ceiling…
Just zoned out in a bit of a depressive state…
To him, his Basketball career was on the skids and his creative muse had just dried up… How was he meant to continue? It felt like he had no future at Dakota despite the fact that the team was one of the top teams in the FBA. Hell, He might even have a ring by the end of the season but it didn’t matter to Kris at this point…
He barely even knew the people around him and for him to take a ring after doing so little would feel like an insult to his teammates. He’d barely been there to do any of the hard work. Why should he deserve it?
Kris was pretty much stuck motionless as time slipped away around him…
That was until his phone started ringing.
Kris felt like letting it go to voice mail until he saw a familiar name come up on screen.
“Cherry?”
Kris rushed to his phone and answered.
“Hello! Kris here!”
“Hey Kris…Yeah, ‘tis I, Cherry. Sure you still got my number memorized at this point.”
“I do. I still have it on my mobile… Hell, I’m really glad you gave me a call right now!”
Kris was honestly quite relieved to have Cherry give him a call at that point. It was just good to talk to someone who he could trust after feeling frozen out for so long.
“Same Kris…same. Let’s just say Tallahasse’s not exactly all golden.”
“Huh? How is it not all golden Cherry? I mean, You’ve got a ring, You’re getting play time… Like I’m mostly stuck on the practice courts myself.”
“But none of it’s consistent Kris. I keep getting shuffled up and down the lineup so I got no idea what my role really is and that’s…not exactly a confidence builder.” Cherry taking a short pause, trying to keep from getting too high in emotions. “Not to mention, it feels like…like hardly anyone talks around here. Bit hard to get past names at times, you know?”
“Honestly, I know how you feel Cherry… I feel the exact same way at Dakota. I mean, Sure it’s nice to be on a team doing well but it feels pretty hollow when you’re not really playing a part in it you know?”
“Or even really know what it is in my case…”
“Yeah… I mean, It’s kinda rough Cherry, I’m not gonna lie… It really has me questioning if my best days were at KDU and if I’m even going to get another offer in the FBA after my rookie deal is finished up…”
“Now don’t give up hope okay? Promise me that at least. One good look’s all it takes after all.”
“I know Cherry. I just wished that Dakota saw more in me ya know… I also wish I was a bit closer with my teammates as I don’t really feel like I’ve made many connections here either…”
“The connections part I can relate too. They aren’t bad it’s just tough. Tough to start up talks, tough to get to really know people. Seems like it’s all just a job rather than a game at times.”
“Yeah… I know how you feel. They run a very tight ship here at Dakota and it does feel like it’s a just a job here if you aren’t in the main team… Hell, I had a teammate tell me off for talking about my thoughts on something on social media a few days ago… It’s why I feel so isolated here… I got no friends here and I got none of my support group here… I really wish we were together on Tallahassee right now. I know we wouldn’t be in the team all the time but at least we’d have each other and maybe that would help us make a few friends there…”
Kris froze as he realised what he was saying.
“I’m sorry if I sound like things are bad here but it has been pretty rough for me here if I’m honest…”
Cherry took a minute to think about her answer. “Kris…you know it’s always safe to talk with me. And…kinda wish the same thing. Kinda makes it harder too when you’re constantly alone with a sketchbook in your face outside practice. We’re both rather insular and…that just puts us on hard mode when it comes to social things.”
“You’re right about that… Maybe we need to talk to each other more often than we have been. It would have really made these past 2 seasons a lot more bearable… And honestly, I’m thinking… If we both get an offer from the same team, I think we should both take it… What do you think?”
“I couldn’t possibly say no to that idea! Take some stars aligning right but if it happens, yeah i’m doing that! Good, bad or otherwise far as team record goes. Regardless of outcome though, talking more helps us both so…that’s part of the plan as well.” Cherry said to Kris excitedly.
“Agreed. I think keeping in contact is going to help us out from here on out… Feel free to let me know the times that you’re normally available Cherry, I know times can be strange due to Time Zones and such.” Kris said with a bit of relief. It was good to know he had one friend out there in the FBA.
“I’ll text you my usual open times. Sure, they come up randomly as well but this gives us a base so to speak.”
“Sounds good, I’ll do the same as well because I know every team does things differently too.”
“It’s just nice to hear from you again. Makes me think back to the KDU days. Everything was just a lot simpler. We got to learn art and making cartoons, basketball was just a fun thing and now…we went for the proverbial deep end of that.”
“Yeah, I know Cherry… But we both chose to make that big jump together and while I can’t say I’ve really enjoyed my time so far at Dakota, I’m still glad we’ve both given the FBA a crack.”
“And who knows? Any luck there’s still more to come for us.”
“You’re right, perhaps this is the start of something special you know. Maybe Dakota doesn’t see much in me but someone else might ya know?”
“Someone will, I just know it. Alright?”
“Thanks for having confidence in me Cherry. I’m glad someone does.”
“Sometimes we gotta be our own biggest fans. Can’t believe in yourself who’s gonna?”
“You’re absolutely right about that Cherry… I wish we were still teammates honestly. I really miss your can-do attitude. But yeah, I gotta believe in myself a bit more…”
“Maybe we will be again, who knows? Ever need a hypefur again, just call me up okay?”
“Will do Cherry. I gotta go make my way back to training okay? I’ll catch you later!”
“Get to it Kris! Talk later!”
Kris hung up the call and felt the best he had felt in ages. It was good to have someone out there that believed in him and believed that he could amount to something in the FBA.
It didn't matter to him now if the rest of his time in Dakota ended up much the same as it had been, He had a feeling that his best days were yet to come.